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What is the real need behind all of the gender confusion in the world today? Is it a need to discover what an individual´s correct gender? If this was true, then we have a God, who is Creator and a perfect Being and has never one time made a mistake, now liable to mistakes and error. This would now put God in the same category as humans. The God that I know and love and serve is not at all like this. When I have encountered difficulties, problems and confusion; I have found it very helpful to not blame God, but, instead to see if there is an area where I have done things my way, instead of doing them God´s way. It has been a wonderful discovery to learn that the LORD loves to reveal His ways to his creation. (Jeremiah 6:16,18, 18:15,16; Hebrews 3:10). Our father God loves to reveal his heart and his ways to his children. So, also in the area of gender confusion. Most of the gender confusion will be discovered that the root need in the life of a confused person is their tremendous need for the earthly father to bless and affirm them as a person. If the father was not available physically, emotionally and spiritually for his child while he or she was growing up, there will be confusion in their mind and emotions about themselves as persons. It is the father´s role to affirm the gender of his children. He has been given the masculine affirming voice to represent the heavenly Father to his children. Every single thing has come into the world through the WORD of God and not one thing ever came into the world apart from Him (the Word).John 1:1-3 says “In the beginning was the WORD and the WORD was with God and the WORD was GOD, the same was in the beginning with God. All things were made by him, and without HIM was not anything made that has been made.” Every earthly father has been given a very high privilege to his children and family. This is a glory that God has placed on fathers. A special glory that they possess because they have the role as father to their children. This is what true leadership is all about. Jesus washed his disciples feet and then he said, “you call me master and Lord and you are correct, now if I your master and Lord wash your feet, then you are to wash one another´s feet. (John 13:13). True leadership is to be discovered in the heart of true humility. The lowly Lamb of God has always been the greatest visible demonstration of a leader. Many fathers have abdicated their role as a leader and like Esau of old, they have sold their birthright for a bowl of soup. I find grown up people all over the world that are still yearning for “dad” to affirm them and to tell them, “you did good son/daughter”. The mother´s role is to give a sense of well-being to her children and much of this should occur in the very early stages of the child´s life as she is bonded with mom. Mom also should supply a sense of comfort to her children. They should always feel comfortable in mom´s loving arms. If a child does not bond with its mother, this child could grow up with a deep inner feeling of non- being, instead of well-being.
But, the role of dad is so different. He is the one that God has determined would be there to affirm and encourage his child as he attempts to conquer the obstacles of life. First, as this brand new life comes into this brand new world, dad should be there to honor and bless his arrival. Next, when that little baby is just learning to walk, dad should be there to pick him up when he falls and affirm him in his weakness and say, “its ok, you can do it, keep trying”. Then as his little son or daughter is growing up and life starts to fill them with a sense of insecurity, dad should be there to demonstrate a sense of security and stability. Then as this precious gift from God grows up, with each achievement in life, dad should be there to let him know how thankful he is and how happy his child has made him. At the most crucial age around puberty, when there are so many physical changes occurring in the son and daughter, this is God´s ordained time for dad to have a special celebration to bless, honor and release his child into their adulthood as a man or as a woman! Like I said, there is a special glory that men have been given by God to lead and to bless and to train their children in the way they should live their life. One reason that many fathers never affirm and bless their children is because they themselves were never affirmed and blessed by their father. If a father did not release his child into their adulthood, they could have an emotional age that is far, far lower than their physical age. If a child does not feel special as a “boy” or as a “girl”, then they could try to prove that they “are” special and this will result in many things like: joining gangs to prove he is man, having illicit sex to prove she is a woman, earning many medals and awards to prove that you are special, working harder and harder, constantly striving to prove to yourself and to the world that you are special. These individuals are usually very stressful people in life and at home. Children need their father to be present. Not just to be there physically, but to be there emotionally for them. A father that is not there emotionally for his child could leave a deep wound in the heart of his child. Remember, one of dad´s main roles is to bless his child and to honor them with a sense of value and destiny in life. I have literally seen thousands of lives radically changed when they received a blessing from a father, even if it wasn´t from their earthly father. God has a family and in his family, there are many spiritual fathers and they can bless and affirm an unaffirmed person and ask Father God to heal that person´s heart and He does. I wish that I would have known the things that I am sharing in this article. But, as a father for many years, I had no knowledge of these things, but in the last 15 years, the Lord has been teaching me more and more about fatherhood. For example, Proverbs 17:6 says, “Children´s children are the crown of old men: and the glory of the children are their fathers”. Grandchildren are the crown that grandfathers wear. What an honor. AS soon as an old man called Jacob saw his son´s two sons, he said, “who are these?” Joseph told his father, these are your grandchildren and immediately Jacob says, bring them here and I will bless them! (Genesis 48:8,9) This grandfather knew how important it was to bless his grandchildren and to polish his crown. The crown of grandfathers is their grandchildren. Wow! But, the GLORY of children are their fathers. This means that all children are yearning for their father´s approval, affection, love and deep down in their heart, they have a special place for “dad”. If this one, which is to be what they glory in, abuses or rejects or hurts them, it can be devastating to that innocent child. Father God, please forgive us men for not revealing your true character as a Father to our families, for not affirming our sons and daughters, forgive us for not being there physically, emotionally and spiritually, forgive us for not demonstrating godly leadership, release us for all of our own disappointments so that we can fulfill our God given role for our families. Most of all, Lord, heal the many wounds that children carry due to an absent, abusive, neglectful, or an uncaring father. Restore the glory back to each individual that has lost his or hers.
With a heavy heart for a fatherless generation,
Seminar with Dr. Francis Myles
“The Marketplace Apostle”
11-14 June 2015
Saturday begins 10am
Huette Davids- Sangerstasse 14, 32791 Billinghausen-Lage
For Information about Dr. Francis Myles Click Here for his website.
This is a revised edition of “The Secrets of a Fantastic Marriage” book. In this revised edition there is new content about the roles that temperaments, Godly sex, and other practical aspects play in the marriage relationship.
As any married couple knows, a struggling marriage can result in anger, pain, grief, and resentment. So often, those struggles come from elsewhere in life, such as past wounds, emotional scars, and broken relationships. Author Greg Violi reveals God’s plan to release you from that bondage. The Secrets of a Fantastic Marriage unlocks and provides the most powerful tools that any couple can use to secure a satisfying, fantastic marriage. Greg takes readers through the magnificent heights and glorious depths of God’s love and how it changes the destiny of their relationships. The struggles of life can leave anyone scarred and struggling. However, by taking life’s burdens to the cross, anyone can also experience the joyous freedom already available by the blood of Christ. Join author Greg Violi and witness the same incredible results in your own life that he has seen revolutionize hundreds of marriages across the globe.